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How we react to negative emotions is largely influenced by our past psychological and emotional traumas. Author and psychology professor, Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph. On the contrary, if you grew up in an unstable environment, you might be insecurely attached. As a result, you become overly dependent on your romantic partners. You might have insecure attachment if you need to constantly be with your partner.
Being clingy is simply your response to your abandonment issues. There are still several ways to build a How to stop being a clingy boyfriend relationship with your partner. With work and determination, you can curb your clinginess and become a good and encouraging partner. Just follow these simple steps:. Psychiatrist Mark Banschick advises :. And there are usually good reasons why you became that way; like anxieties in early childhood. Work on overcoming the wounds of the past, and make better relationships in the future.
If you want to understand whether you are needy and clingy in a relationship or not, I suggest our free masterclass on love and intimacy. Abandonment issues, insecure attachmentetc—all of these are a result of anxiety.
Whitbourne suggests :. Whitbourne adds :. Bolster your resilience by developing coping strategies that both make you feel better and help you tackle the situations that are stressing you out. Men have a built-in desire to be the provider and protector for their woman. Above all else, men want to act according to their instincts and on their own accord. And it goes to the heart of why clingy girlfriends and wives need to give their partners the freedom to be their hero.
James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who coined the term, has created an excellent video about it. Watch the video here. And that she respects him for this. I know it might all seem kind of silly. The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in his life. This is deeply rooted in male biology. Although women may not need a hero, a How to stop being a clingy boyfriend is compelled to be one. And if you want him to be happy in your relationship, then you have to let him. The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way.
James Bauer outlines what you can do in his free video. I think it could be a game changer for a lot of relationships. People find themselves in a relationship, and they suddenly neglect their personal growth and development. According to psychologist Suzanne Lachmann:.
Lachmann adds :. If you want to stop being clingy and needy, you need to really claim ownership of your personal power. Psychologists Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera add :.
Free yourself of all those negative thoughts. If something bad happens, it will happen.
But before then, save yourself the trouble. One of the main reasons why we hold onto our partners so much is because we are afraid of losing them. So if you want to be less clingy and more happily secure in your relationship, build your self-confidence. Take care of yourself physically and mentally.
Develop your own career. Pursue what gives you meaning. All of this can help build your confidence. But try to give your partner more space. He explains :. Time together is certainly one gauge of how strong the love is. Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel essential to the woman in his life.
This biological drive compels men to provide for and protect women. He wants to step up for her, feel essential, and be appreciated for his efforts. Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. He outlines the things you can say, texts you can send, and requests you can make to immediately trigger his hero instinct. However, I think the hero instinct is a compelling explanation for what drives men romantically.
No one is saying that women need a hero to take care of them. Today women can change How to stop being a clingy boyfriend tire, open their own jars, and generally fend for themselves in life. Communicate clearly and listen intently. Whitbourne says :.
Deal with the big elephant in the room. According to d mental and sexual health therapist Erika Miley:. For a no-nonsense look at manifestation, check out our complete Manifestation Magic review.
Public displays of affection are healthy to some extent. Some people even depend on affection to feel loved and validated. However, everyone needs to have their personal space. Your family and friends will be the one to pick you up in pieces should your relationship end. According to d psychologist Janna Koretz:. Having someone who can be an outside perspective to help you make good decisions will benefit your relationship. When friends become happier, the whole group gets happier, too. According to Whitbourne:. Unfortunately, some couples withdraw from their friendships when their relationship turns serious.
You can benefit both from maintaining your separate friendships, but also from sharing with the couples who are experiencing transitions such as becoming parents, raising teenagers, and helping older family members. If you and your partner want a healthy relationship, then both of you should be open to the other meeting new people. But remember that your partner is human too. How you act and what to do affects him mentally and emotionally, too. Dating coach Lisa Shield says :. You have to understand that the other person has insecurities and fears just like you do. Then, you can start to meet them in the middle, rather than seeing them as a mystery.
She says :. If someone wants to be with you, they will be with you. Again, what you can control are your reactions to the situation. But snooping is still snooping. Sex and dating coach Jordan Gray explains :. Your fear of being alone could also be the cause of your neediness. But learning how to be okay with being alone is something you need to learn if you want to find complete happiness in life. According to psychiatrist Dr. Abigail Brenner:. You may be able to make better choices and decisions about who you are and what you want without outside influence.
Make being alone something you actually look forward to. Allot some time for self-care and reflection. Sometimes, a partner is also How to stop being a clingy boyfriend big contributor. Betrayal may have occurred. Mark Branschick:. Does he have narcissistic tendencies that make you feel second best? Facing hard facts is often better than feeling tortured day in and day out. You have to be the judge in this case. If the problem is mainly in your partner, then it might be time to choose your own mental health.
Either way, you need to find the balance between having your own security in yourself and in your partner. Trust is hard to give. But if you trust yourself and your place in your relationship, letting go of control can be a whole lot easier. According to relationship coach How to stop being a clingy boyfriend Irish:. There is no greater joy than having someone to share your life with. But there is no greater accomplishment than being completely fine with yourself and who you are.
If your partner is even willing, you might go to therapy together. People are often clingy because they lack a sense of self. Invest in yourself.How to stop being a clingy boyfriend
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11 Ways to Stop Being the “Clingy Girlfriend” in a Relationship